random thoughts

That was the River– This is the Sea

These things you keep, you’d better throw them away.

from This is the Sea, The Waterboys (Michael Scott)

I can’t get this song out of my mind. It is a lovely, haunting melody by The Waterboys from their third album. I listened to it on repeat back in college (in the dark ages, aka the 80s). How fitting that it is running through my head as we delivered our eldest boy to college this week. I have so much to process. I was ill-prepared for the intense heartbreak when he turned to walk away from us toward his future. Left alone in the parking lot by the car, the emotional pain was physical. Holding my breath, I realized that there was no calling him back. To be sure, he will come back, but everything has changed. Mike Scott was right: This is the sea.

I returned home to an ocean of supportive friends, each having said goodbye to a child or two and survived. They shared their infinite wisdom with me and buoyed my spirit; I am grateful for their words. We are better together and built for connection.

How are you tending to your connections? Who will help you navigate the wild, blue sea of this life?


Son with Father @ Saint Mary’s Cross, Moraga, CA
10 Second Habits, random thoughts

It’s Time…Are You Ready?

And just like that, the year is here, and we are ready (almost) to go. Are you ready? Or are you, like me, not quite prepared, not sure when I will be ready, but the tumbling of time will not stop, so I must proceed.

One son began high school, and we will move our other son into his college dorm for the first time next week on my first day of school. By next Friday, my world will have completely altered. I am not sure how I feel about this. Ok, that is a lie. I have many feelings, and they are overwhelming at times.

But, I have spent many years re-writing the negative self-talk in my brain when it shuts down my feelings. And this morning, I reminded myself that I have lived through all the most challenging times and made it through every difficult emotion. It’s ok to let them have space. They will pass.

How are you getting through difficult times? What are your favorite tools to help you center yourself?

One of my big self-soothing activities is reading. And I read this and thought it worthy and relevant to share with you:

It’s a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you’re ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.” -Hugh Laurie